


Faking Smiles

by SimplyShelbs16



Series: Sherlolly Songfics [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet, F/M, Songfic, angsty, sherlock POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 06:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10156448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyShelbs16/pseuds/SimplyShelbs16
Summary: this songfic is based off of Ed Sheeran's Happier and takes place over the course of S3 when Molly was engaged to Tom.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I really hope I did Sherlolly justice with this song, though it's nothing but angst. A few people were very excited for this particular song to be used so I hope it's up to par with everyone's expectations. Please let me know what you think.

_Walking down 29 th and park, I saw you in another’s arms. Only a month we’ve been apart, you look happier._

                It had been a month since Sherlock’s crime solving adventure with Molly Hooper. Ever since asking for her help in faking his death, something had shifted for him. He was no longer cold towards her, always living in the moments they spent together, never taking them for granted. As he walked, lost in thought, he saw her…in the arms of Tom. She was engaged and happy. Oh, how he wanted her to be happy even if it wasn’t with him. That’s how much he love—cared for her. Sherlock refused to accept his feelings, for they were nothing but a distraction and a disadvantage, so he locked them away.

 

_Saw you walk inside a bar. He said something to make you laugh. I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours. Yeah, you look happier, you do._

                Sherlock’s Belstaff billowed behind him as he followed Lestrade into the pub to talk to a potential suspect. As they waited for the bartender to retrieve the manager, Sherlock heard a laugh. _Molly’s_ laugh. His head whipped around to see her and Tom animatedly talking and laughing with one another. He wished that it could be him she was laughing with like they did a month and a half ago while on a case. She looked happier than he’d ever seen her. All of these thoughts vanished as the manager came out to greet them.

 

_Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you but ain’t nobody love you like I do. Promise that I will not take it personal, baby, if you’re moving on with someone new._

                He loved her. It was plain and simple. No complexities or mysteries to solve. Sherlock Holmes loved Molly Hooper and that was that. He had hurt her so many times in the past. All of that time he could have had with her was wasted. That chance may never come again. He didn’t feel he deserved her. Hell, he didn’t understand how she could fancy him, being the arsehole he is.

                Sherlock could never forget that dreadful Christmas party. _To be fair, I was the one who made it dreadful_ , he thought. Molly Hooper was the only one he would give apologies for, whether it was for her or if she told him to apologize to another. Regardless, he would never allow this predicament to ruin anything. He would rather have her as one of his best friends than to not have her in his life at all. He wanted her to be happy because she deserved it more than anything.

 

_Cause, baby, you look happier, you do. My friends told me one day, I’ll feel it too. And until then, I’ll smile to hide the truth but I know I was happier with you._

                John was always so convinced that Sherlock would find happiness with a good woman one day. But maybe it wasn’t in the plans for him. Molly was in his blood just as he had been for her. Lately, her smiles didn’t reach her eyes. She was forcing them now, but for who? Sherlock thought back on the day that he congratulated her on the engagement. He remembered smiling on the outside to show his happiness for her before leaving a soft kiss upon her cheek. It was a bittersweet feeling but he had to let her go. He was happy enough, what with John and now Mary but Sherlock couldn’t keep the feeling at bay that something was missing. He had always been his happiest when Molly was more involved.

 

_Sat in the corner of the room; everything’s reminding me of you. Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier, aren’t you?_

                By this point, Sherlock knew something wasn’t right but he couldn’t pinpoint it. He laid there on the sofa, nicotine patches covering his arm, thinking rapidly while searching for an answer. _No_. _Molly is happier without me. But why doesn’t her smile light up her eyes anymore? There’s no time to think like that, she’s happy…isn’t she?_   Everything reminded him of her when he opened his eyes. She had left her mark in 221B through memories locked away in his mind. Looking throughout the flat, unwanted thoughts kept invading him.

                _That’s where Molly stood when I asked her to go crime solving. There’s where she sat as I questioned the client. There, in the kitchen, is the jar of eyes I’ve collected from her. Oh, and that’s where she stood when I single-handedly broke her heart on Christmas._

Sherlock snapped out of it, frustrated with himself and his conflicting emotions that he usually repressed. He didn’t know how to handle any of it so, just as he did when he was bored, he began to shoot at the wall.

                “Sherlock, honestly, what’s gotten into you?” Mrs. Hudson questioned, ducking for dear life.

                “Just a matter of boredom Mrs. Hudson, scurry along now,” Sherlock replied curtly.

 

_Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you. But ain’t nobody need you like I do. I know that there’s others that deserve you but, my darling, I am still in love with you._

                Three months. It had been three bloody months since he’d been feeling this way.

                _“What do you need?”_

_“You.”_

He had meant it in every way, but Sherlock never dared to tell her that. He didn’t just need her to help him fake his suicide, but he needed her to love and be loved by her; the unconditional kind of love that she had always given him. Molly kept him right just as much as John did. They were both essential in his life. The keys to the man he had become. Between the two of them, Molly was the only one who saw right through him. She didn’t just see who he was, but the man he could become.

Her faith in him was unwavering. Engaged or not, she still loved him unconditionally as a friend at the very least. He could deal with that. Tom deserved her forever, not him. As hard as he tried, Sherlock couldn’t deny to himself that he was still in love with Molly Hooper. The feeling was too strong to be ignored by this point.

 

_Baby, you look happier, you do. I knew one day you’d fall for someone new. But if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I’ll be waiting here for you._

He always knew that eventually, Molly would get over him. He told himself that if there was ever a day that things didn’t work out, he’d wait for her. He would try to become the man that she deserved, even if it took him the rest of his life. Seeing her and Tom at the wedding canoodling with one another stung his heart as he watched from afar. Though, he did enjoy the bit where she stuck her fork in him. Chuckling, Sherlock relaxed in his chair, escaping all of the worry that plagued his mind. 

* * *

          So there he was, being tugged along to get tested by Molly for drugs in his system. Sherlock didn’t want her to see him like this; didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.

“Clean?”

 _Smack._ He deserved that. _Smack._ At least there’s no ring to leave a welt. _Smack._ Wait, there’s no ring. Molly’s voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“How dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were born with and how dare you betray the love of your friends! Say you’re sorry!” Feeling upset at her disappointment in him and a bit smug at noticing her ring was missing, he became his old self again.

“Sorry your engagement’s over. Though I’m fairly grateful for the lack of a ring.” _She isn’t engaged, I could tell her. No. Look at this mess you’ve made. She’s distraught with you. Molly Hooper deserves better than this._ So that’s what he told himself to keep from selfishly opening his heart to her.

 


End file.
